August 3, 2015

Today was not such a good day. Both emotionally and physically. Not looking forward to many days like this, but it is going to happen. I am not a strong person (everyone thinks I am , boy do I have them fooled!) I don't think I could do this without God holding my hand.  He is my strength.  And I thank  God every day for my husband. Riley is my rock, and he does it so well. When emotions take over just having someone there to hold you can mean the world.

                Riley helped me out of the bed this morning, (in fact, this has become the normal for now, oh well, I guess when you gotta pee, you gotta pee. ) The pain was pretty bad and I am unable to raise myself from a laying position right now. But the good news after I am up and take a few drugs, I am able to move again. Not do a whole lot, but at least move. Do you know how such small things like taking yourself to the bathroom feels so good?  

                Called and got an appointment with my Primary Doctor, will be at the end of the week so they can get all the files from the hospital. That one went well. Put a call in to the Cancer Center where my Oncologist is at. Left a message and waiting for a return call. So, to fill in the time, decided to pay the bills for the month. Fun, yup. Need to make a bill box so when I am not able to do this for whatever reason Riley can still get bills paid.

                The Cancer Center called back and talked with a very nice young lady. The bad thing is she cannot even make the consultation appointment until I have some kind of insurance. I broke down completely at this point. She stayed right there on the phone with me while I tried to compose myself. What am I going to do? She gave me a number to call to try to get something going, she said the consultation was about $600 and the treatments were up to $100,000 each. We just don't have that kind of money. Too young for Medicare and don't know if we qualify for State Insurance. I just have to trust in God that he will take care of this. I did call Sunrise Hospital because I had signed some papers there and it seems like someone there had already applied and I had a billing no. from the State. Does not guarantee anything, but it is a start. Sabina at the Cancer Center said the minute I get confirmation to fax it to her and I will have an appointment immediately. She put me top of the list. Is this where I say, thank you Obama for screwing up Insurance? How many other people are in this little doughnut hole with not hope. But I am determined, by the Grace of God I will get the help I need and beat this thing.